After Toyota’s Super Bowl ad captured the touching life story of Paralympic swimmer Jessica Long, the media raced to report on the athlete. But many of them bypassed crucial details about the 28 year old – including her Christian faith and pro-life position.
Toyota, a partner of Team USA, highlighted the 13-time Paralympic gold medalist on Sunday. Her story is one worth telling: She was adopted from a Russian orphanage as a baby and lost both of her legs as a toddler only to become the second-most decorated U.S. Paralympian in history. But there’s more to the story. She centers her life on God, she says, and advocates for adoption in place of abortion. That’s because, for her, “I would rather know that the baby would have a better life than I could give him or her instead of just terminating the baby.”
The minute-long ad doesn’t show all of that – but it struck a pro-life tone. The camera follows the champion athlete as she “swims” through her life story, beginning with her adoptive mother receiving a phone call informing her that little Jessica is available for adoption.
“We found a baby girl for your adoption,” a woman’s voice tells her mother, “but there’s some things you need to know.”
“She’s in Siberia, and she was born with a rare condition,” she continues. “Her legs will need to be amputated. I know this is difficult to hear. Her life, it won’t be easy.”
That didn’t deter Mrs. Long. “It might not be easy, but it’ll be amazing,” she responds. “I can’t wait to meet her.”
Steve and Beth Long – a Christian, homeschooling family in Baltimore, Maryland – adopted Jessica when she was just 13 months old. Her legs were amputated when she was 18 months old due to a condition called fibular hemimelia, which meant that she did not have fibulas, ankles, heels, and most of the other bones in her feet. In total, she has endured more than a dozen surgeries.
But that didn’t stop her from living life. God had a plan.
Instead of a phone call, her adoptive parents actually “went to a church meeting and they saw a picture of me,” she told I Am Second last year. “They were told that this little Russian girl has leg deformities and really needed to be adopted. And my mom just said, ‘We knew that you were the child that God wanted us to adopt.”
Jessica loves both of her mothers.
“I’ve definitely dealt with a lot of emotions and questions regarding my adoption, but I am so grateful she chose to give me life,” she wrote of her birth mom in an Instagram post in 2019. And “My mom who raised me is the most bubbly, fearless, incredible woman and I’m honored to be her daughter.”
In 2013, she traveled with one of her five siblings to meet her birth parents.
“I want them to know that I’m not angry with them,” Long said in an NBC film, shortly before a tear-filled reunion. “I think that was really brave, and I don’t know what I would have done if I was in her situation, at 16 and having this disabled baby that they knew that they couldn’t take care of. I want to tell her that when I see her that, if anything, I have so much love for her, my mom, because she gave me life.”
Jessica is pro-adoption and pro-life, according to a Celebrate Life Magazine (CLM) story published in 2014.
“If you truly can’t care for the child and can’t give the child the life he or she deserves, I would give the child up for adoption, because there is going to be a family out there who will love that baby—no matter what the diagnosis is,” Jessica said. “I know it can seem really discouraging, but in the end, I think that if you would abort the baby, you would definitely regret it. I think, for me, that I would rather know that the baby would have a better life than I could give him or her instead of just terminating the baby.”
Jessica also believes in the power of prayer and faith, telling CLM that “It gives me all of my strength.”
But her faith journey is just that: a journey.
“I can’t think of a single childhood memory that we weren’t always at church or with our church community,” she told I Am Second. “And what I heard a lot of is that, ‘God made me this way.’”
“I knew I didn’t want anything to do with this God that made me this way,” she added. Among other things, she struggled with anger and feelings of being unwanted.
Years later at a Bible study, that changed.
“I just think, I just couldn’t do it alone anymore,” she said, before walking over to a woman who prayed with her.
“I just said, ‘I want to give God my whole heart for once,’” she remembered. “And as soon as I prayed, it was the first time in my entire life that I felt enough.”
She stressed that it’s a process.
“I am constantly reminded every day that I need to give it to God,” she urged. “Every day when I put on these two prosthetic legs that are heavy and they still hurt me. My legs still cause me pain. And I think it’s honestly this really cool, beautiful reminder that I can’t do it on my own.”
At the end of races, she pictures God swimming along with her.
“When practices get tough or races have been hard, I just call unto Him,” she concluded. “God, this is hard.”
And she hears Him respond: “Just keep trying, Jess. I’m here with you.”
Ryan Jon in an Australian Radio Host & Podcaster has a story to tell. On Mother’s day each year he puts out a message to find his biological mother. Watch this heartfelt story of love for adoption and the person who gave him life.
See more at Facebook.com/RyanJonOnline
This fall the StandUpGirl.com Foundation welcomed a new member to our board of directors. We want to take this opportunity to introduce our newest team member, Alan O’Kain, and his wonderful and unique family. This family is a living example of the beauty of adoption.
Alan and his wife, Victoria, have been supporters of StandUpGirl.com for about 6 years and are frequent guests at our Portland area events. Originally from California, Alan and Victoria both have a background in law. This background proved useful when, about 10 years ago, they decided to pursue adoption. They each individually had a heart for adoption, and now married, with 6 biological children between them, they had the resources to pursue that calling.
During these past 10 years they have welcomed 5 children home from China. Paul, now 15, was the first, followed by Jude, Lulu, Luke, and Harmony. The children were all a bit older, and knew no English, when they joined the family, making adjusting to a new country and culture difficult. Many arrived with only the clothes on their back, and with a variety of health challenges. Some had nearly aged out of orphanage care in China. With a loving and stable home, where they are promised “we will never leave you”, they have blossomed. And where it is has been possible in meeting the kids academic challenges, the O’Kain’s have enrolled their children in Christian schools, to help in pouring God’s love into their lives. “It’s been quite an adventure”, say Alan and Victoria, but they feel “blessed to have the opportunity to do this.”
The O’Kain’s would also like to offer some encouragement and advice for those interested in pursuing adoption. Alan says “God will give you the energy and resources to help you do it,” and Victoria advises getting a mentor who has previously adopted to help navigate a process that can be long and difficult.
Will more children be joining the O’Kain family? Victoria says it’s always a possibility.
We are so excited to have the O’Kain’s as part of the StandUpGirl.com Team. We hope you have the privilege of meeting them someday, possibly at one of our future Portland area events.
True love for your child is knowing what is best for them and giving it to them, no matter the sacrifice to you. I heard that somewhere – on TV, or in a book maybe. I didn’t ever think I could love someone that much – so much that I would do anything for them, sacrifice my pain for their happiness. Until I became pregnant.
It was a one-night stand, not something I am proud to admit. When I found out I was pregnant, I told the father, and he said he would be there for whatever I decided. I didn’t know what I wanted. I was living with my parents still, in a job I didn’t like, only 21 years old. I didn’t want to be a mother like this. I believe in a two-parent home, with stability – emotional stability and financial stability. I made an appointment for an abortion, but canceled a day or two prior, feeling that this was a living being inside me who deserved more than to be suctioned into a bio-hazard bag.
Shortly after that I decided on adoption. It seemed natural to me. I am very black-and-white in my thinking, and I believe that helped with my choice. I made a list of why to parent, and why not to. I started working with a local adoption agency about four months into my pregnancy, and by eight months I had a family picked out.
Throughout this process, the father showed his true colors. He was not a man of his word, and he was simply selfish. As of 2005 in Alberta, the birth father has equal rights to the child. He basically vetoed his rights throughout the pregnancy by disappearing from his house, his job, etc. But, when it came to the birth, and time to sign the consent, he did cause some drama because he was having second thoughts. This twenty-four-hour tension reinforced how much I wanted my little girl to grow up with the family I had chosen for her.
It was difficult to be pregnant and working in retail. Strangers would ask me questions, normal to them, but awkward to me. “Do you have your nursery done?” “Is the father excited?” “Do you have names picked out?” My answers were one-word, and often lies. Yes, I have the nursery done, when really I sometimes long to pick out baby items in the children’s store and dream of my child’s room. Yes, the father is excited, when really the thought of him makes me sick. No, I don’t have names picked out, because the one I have chosen for her may not be hers. I felt bad for lying, but howcould I tell them something so delicate? I might cry, they might be upset, and it would be inappropriate and awkward.
Finally, I gave birth to my beautiful baby girl. During my hospital stay I had my daughter stay in my room, as I wanted to care for her during the few days I was there. I wanted to change her diaper and bottle-feed her and hold her while I could. My family was worried this would sway my decision against adoption, but it only reinforced to me that I was making the right decision for both of us. My sisters and parents spent time with us, saying hello to my child, and good-bye. My parents actually spent the entire three days with me, as I was scared to be alone, not knowing how to parent. When I visited my daughter’s new family to place my child with them, it felt natural. It also felt as though a weight had been lifted off my shoulders.
They did keep the name I had given her as her middle name, which is so important to me. It is a part of her. And I believe she will feel all the more love, knowing how special her name is, that it came from both her birth mom and her parents.
I did not expect the roller coaster of emotions to come. I knew there would be grief, but I just had no idea. The first few weeks were traumatic. I would cry randomly, waking in the middle of the night even, to sob, while my father rubbed my back until I fell asleep. The emotional pain felt so physical. I literally felt empty. Empty arms. Empty belly. Empty heart. I wanted her back with me so bad. My mother told me, “This is when you need to think with your head, not your heart, to really know what is best for the both of you.” I did do counseling afterwards, with a psychiatrist and a therapist, which I would strongly recommend for anyone facing this challenge. I needed help dealing with the grief in all its stages: jealousy, anger, sadness, etc.
Time did heal the wounds. I could go out in public without having a panic-attack, go back to work, hang out with my friends, and basically move forward with my life. I was able to go back to school, get a career, and I have recently moved out of my parent’s house. I’m growing up, and growing into an adult life. It is sometimes hard to see my sisters having children and being in a part of their lives, where I am not. But playing with my nieces and nephews also shows me how thankful I am that I chose adoption. That I am not ready for those responsibilities, I am not ready to be a parent. Not then, and still not now.
I had chosen an open adoption, which I am so grateful for. I had a few visits during the first year, and one on her second birthday. I love seeing her. Knowing she is in a safe, happy, loving home. Knowing she is healthy. I do talk on the phone every few months with her parents, and they send pictures. Some people believe that an open adoption is confusing, and selfish, but I think not. She will know who I am, that she was loved, and there will be no confusion. Her parents are honest with her, as with her adopted brother, about where they came from and why. There are no secrets. She even has a photo album I gave her of pictures of my life, who I am. I send them pictures to add to it every year. As time goes on we plan on one or two visits per year. And still cards, pictures, and phone calls, every few months, and on special days. When she is older, it will be what she wants, visits or not.
When colleagues or new friends ask, “Do you have kids?” I say no. Because in honesty, I had a child, but I do not have one. As I get to know them, if they feel safe, I might tell them. It is something so sacred and delicate to me, it is hard to share. If I don’t get the response I want (I’m still not sure what that is) I am hurt and embarrassed. It is hard for a lot of people to understand. People without knowledge, or experience, in the area often assume it doesn’t hurt, because it was my choice. In the beginning of my loss, even I would question why I was upset about it. Of course, I do feel that I will be honest with my future husband, and my children, as it is part of my life, and therefore part of theirs.
