I knew from the time I was four that I wanted to be a mother. However, at a young age I was told that I would never be able to get pregnant. When Russell and I got married eleven years ago, we knew that we may never be parents. I got pregnant a few times but just could not carry for very long.
Then, while I was in Indiana to see my brother-in-law graduate from law school, my friend emailed me and told me to call home as soon as possible. When I called, she said her sister was pregnant and thinking of placing the baby for adoption – would we like to talk to her about our raising the baby? Of course I said YES! I immediately talked to Russell, and both of us were very excited! My friend called me later that afternoon and said that her sister, Kathryn, wanted to meet with us, and that it looked like she wanted us to adopt her baby. I thought we had a few months to get ready, but imagine my surprise when she said Kathryn was due within two weeks! I don’t think I slept much for the next few days before I could get home.
When I got off the plane I found out that Kathryn would be staying with us, because she didn’t want to be alone on the other side of town and go into labor. When I walked through the front door and met Kathryn for the first time, it felt like we were old friends. We bonded so fast, it was clearly meant to be. During the next week or so she would call me to come and feel the baby kicking. It was awesome; I got to bond with Emily before she was even born. I talked to Kathryn’s belly and Kathryn and I spent lots of time just getting to know each other. I told her that she would always know where her baby was, but I never thought we would be as close as we are.
Kathryn told me I was welcome to be a part of the delivery, and to this day I am so grateful for that experience. I know most parents that adopt don’t get to see the birth, and I love her for letting me! Before Emily was born, we called Russell, and he listened on the phone as his Princess cried for the first time. When the doctor put Emily in my arms the first time I thought I was going to pass out. I finally felt like a mom! Russell came down to the hospital after we got settled in the other room, and the first time I put Emily in his arms was awesome. I had never seen him hold a baby and didn’t know how he would be, but from that day on he looked like he was an old pro at it, and he loved every second of it.
We didn’t see much of Kathryn the first year of Emily’s life, but I know it was because she was getting on her with her life, and I am sure it was hard then to see us with Emily. However, now I talk with Kathryn every day, send pictures all the time, and in two weeks we will be going down to see her family, including her parents. Emily knows all about her first family, as she has met most of them.
Emily is now almost five and is such a joy in our lives. I can’t imagine what I would do without her. I also wouldn’t change our open adoption for anything. When Russell and I first talked about adoption, I never thought in a million years that I would have this open of an adoption. I will say it takes lots of work, and lots of communication, but it is all worth it! When Emily is older she won’t have to do any searching and she will always know where she came from.