Simply put, I am the son of a very brave woman. Anita, my birth mother, was just 16 when she discovered my existence. She knew there was nothing easy about being a pregnant unmarried teenager, but she never could have predicted all of the trials and obstacles she would have to conquer over the next nine months. When my birth father discovered that Anita was pregnant, he decided that he did not want to be a part of any of this. He chose to leave her to face these challenges alone.
After a great deal of prayer and thought, Anita knew that adoption was the right choice. While she was preparing for adoption and experiencing all of the changes and challenges of pregnancy, she was also determined to continue her education. Unfortunately, the Illinois schools in that era refused to accept pregnant teenagers. Anita’s grandparents told her about a program in Mesa, Arizona that would foster pregnant teens while they got ready to place their children in adopted homes, and there was a school close by that would accept my eager, strong, and increasingly pregnant birth mother. In a great leap of faith, Anita chose to move across the country to an unfamiliar place in order to achieve her goals of continuing school and preparing to place me for adoption.
My parents, Dave and Pam, had moved to Arizona from Chicago to start a business and, more importantly, a family. However, Pam was unable to have kids. For almost six years they agonized through the full range of tests and fertility treatments, but nothing worked. Finally, one day, my mother traveled to Patronato San Xavieran Church, an old Hispanic church in Tucson, Arizona. She prayed for the blessing of a child for hours and lit a prayer candle before she left. Nine months later, to the day, Anita gave birth to me, my parents’ first child.
When Anita gave me life, she also gave life to my mother. I can’t imagine my mom, Pam, without kids – she is just one of those people who was born to be a mother. After me, Dave and Pam adopted my sister Rachel, and then later their niece and nephew, Danny and Nina. We were a crazy, mixed-up, and very close family.
I always knew I was adopted, which is good because my sister Rachel and I are both Hispanic and our parents are both very white (we have a lot of jokes about that). I was always encouraged to ask questions and even contact my birth mother if I wanted. As a kid, though, I honestly wasn’t very curious about her. I loved my parents and my family and was happy with my life. I knew that my birth mother loved me and that she couldn’t take care of me because she was too young. At one point I wanted to know about any medical conditions that she might have passed on to me, but lucky for me I was in the clear.
Throughout my childhood Anita came to visit me a few times and had photos sent back and forth informing her I was doing well and or how life had been for my parents, but nothing that I was old enough to really remember. This changed at my high school graduation, when I met her for what felt like the first time. She had contacted me via Facebook and asked if she could come to see me graduate, and I said sure, of course you can. It was weird, though – the moment I saw her, I knew exactly who she was. I had never seen anyone who looked so much like me, or I guess, who I looked so much like.
Anita was married by then, and brought her husband, Dan, to meet me as well. We all went out to dinner and had a very nice (and only slightly awkward) time together. Anita and Dan have three beautiful daughters now, and I plan to fly out for one of their high school graduations in a couple months to spend some time with them. For some reason my little half-sisters are all very curious about their big brother.
My birth mother not only gave me life, she gave me a world of infinite possibilities. My adopted family gave me the support and opportunities to become anything I wanted, which lead to me becoming a nationally ranked motocross racer, graduating with a Master’s Degree in Organic Chemistry, and entering the field of nanotechnology. I have a whole life in front of me to make the world a better place, and it’s all because of my birth mother’s brave decisions and unparalleled strength. Thank you, Anita. Thank you for making, in my opinion, the hardest choice there is and for placing me with a family that I love with all my heart and who love me back even more.
Simply put, I am the son of a very brave woman. Anita, my birth mother, was just 16 when she discovered my existence. She knew there was nothing easy about being a pregnant unmarried teenager, but she never could have predicted all of the trials and obstacles she would have to conquer over the next nine months. When my birth father discovered thatAnita was pregnant, he decided that he did not want to be a part of any of this. He chose to leave her to face these challenges alone.
After a great deal of prayer and thought, Anita knew that adoption was the right choice. While she was preparing for adoption and experiencing all of the changes and challenges of pregnancy, she was also determined to continue her education. Unfortunately, the Illinois schools in that era refused to accept pregnant teenagers. Anita’s grandparents told her about a program in Mesa, Arizona that would foster pregnant teens while they got ready to place their children in adopted homes, and there was a school close by that would accept my eager, strong, and increasingly pregnant birth mother. In a great leap of faith, Anita chose to move across the country to an unfamiliar place in order to achieve her goals of continuing school and preparing to place me for adoption.